This Men Showing Off Their Dicks Thing

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Safe Space… no Dick Pics here.

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Most women, probably around the globe, know that men love showing off their dicks.

Between Dick Pics and (what we are now learning more about) sexual harassment/assault, men think really highly of their cocks. Much more so than women think of them.

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Kaua’ian Rooster

Dicks in My Work Environment

Penises are a normal part of my day as a Sex Worker. What most people would probably deem absolutely horrid in a work situation, I get paid to do.

I watch as men masturbate on cam, talk them through the experience and make sweet comments about how gorgeous their cocks are. Men love to hear how good their cocks look, asking me to compare it to others and want to know if theirs is the best I’ve ever seen. (Not kidding.) I ooo and ahhh, stroking their penis-egos and I am paid well for it.

Because I see cocks for a living, men often think I want to see their unsolicited dick pics even before we meet. My email address at work strips attachments unless I approve the person, so that limits it fabulously, but even then, some slip by, or past clients will toss a dick pic in their “I’m going to Las Vegas for a week” emails. I guess it’s to keep me warm and cozy until their return?

SPH

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There is another genre of men who want me to laugh at their penises… men who are under-endowed. Even men near the average 5.16 inch cock get into Small Penis Humiliation (SPH). But when they are in the 1-3 inch (erect) size, SPH is guaranteed to be their thing. Entire volumes of psychology studies could probably explain this phenomenon, but I have boiled it down to being laughed at the first time someone (usually a girlfriend) sees their size when they have already been erect for some time, anticipating sex with her. Instead, while he is hard, she laughs; positive reinforcement.

PAY SOMEONE TO LOOK AT IT!

I beg of you. Many of us beg of you. Just stop sending unsolicited dick pics. Really, really.

JUST STOP IT!

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Should You Take Your Dick Out?

Apparently, there needs to be a Tutorial on how men can make the decision to show someone their penis, either in real life or in a picture.

I love how Tiffany Haddish stated it on Saturday Night Live a week ago. Haddish is the first black female stand-up comic in 43 seasons to host Saturday Night Live. Her counsel states:

“If you got your thing-thing out and she got all her clothes on, you’re wrong.”

This is the perfect guide for men who have an urge to show their privates to women.

(Of course, I will add the caveat: Unless you are paying her or have an agreement ahead of time.)

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Indeed.

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