Joyous (Part 4 of my First Dom Story)

Part 1, My First BDSM Experience, I fell in love with a Dom over the Internet. In Part 2, Meeting My First Dom, I flew to meet him in San Francisco, his collaring me right before we began our first Scene. Part 3, My First submissive Scene, Gerald and I begin our sexual consummation before he has an attack of morals, leaving me crying alone on the bed.

Lifting My Head

When I finally stopped crying, I logged onto the computer, not even sure what I was looking for (except Gerald, of course), but there, in the irc room I played in, was a single person… very strange as it was usually packed with people. That new person was someone I’d never seen before.

Her (nick)name was Joyous.


I don’t think Joyous quite expected what she got, but she was a champion listening to me dump all my pain and sadness out via the keyboard. She listened as this crazy submissive, who’d gone to visit her first Dom, sight unseen, cried her eyes out and tried to figure out what to do next. She never said a judgmental word.

When I finally took a breath, I learned Joyous was a submissive, which surprised me because, in text, submissives typically use lower-case letters, Dominants, upper-case. She said she wanted any potential Dom to know she was a force to be reckoned with. I loved her already.

It was late and I still hadn’t seen Gerald in chat. Was completely lost with what was going on with us, so sat talking to Joyous, minutes turning to hours.

Gerald Logged On… Finally

Around midnight, Gerald finally pops into the room still holding just Joyous and I, his Private Messaging (PM) me, falling all over himself with apologies. I sat listening, the tears flowing all over again.


He said he’d been trying to figure out how to work things out with me for the week and thought he’d come up with a solution. I sat listening.

He said he would come see me as planned and that he had promised to Scene with me, that he would honor that, but he wouldn’t be able to come for another day, trying to get a couple days off work without his wife knowing. (I am sure I rolled my eyes.) He said he just couldn’t have any more sexual contact. I nodded my understanding. He said he had to go, but he would call in the morning when he got to work. Then he vanished.

Joyous Revisited

I’d been talking to Joyous in the room while Gerald and I talked in PM and told her I wouldn’t see him for a couple of days… what was I going to do in San Francisco by myself? She said, “You’re in San Francisco? That’s where I am!” She then told me she was actually on vacation for two weeks and would love to take me out to see “her” city. I couldn’t believe the luck.

The next morning, at 8:00 am on the dot, Joyous knocked at the door and when I opened it, she and I hugged like we’d known each other for years and were just reunited. Still wearing the collar Gerald had locked on me, I was a tad worried about going out with it. She laughed and said no one would even notice, grabbed my hand and out the door we went.


Two subbies Traipsing

We walked arm and arm, up and down those brutal San Francisco hills, wandering in and out of stores, eating in delightful restaurants and talking talking talking, telling each other secrets and stories from our respective lives.

She took me to Mr. S Leather where we giggled with the salesboys, trying on various pieces of leather gear, paddling each other with wooden implements and holding up various toys, fantasizing about what we would do with this or that.

Mr. S Leather

We went to Romantasy, an exquisite corset shop. Talking to the sales folks, I learned they custom make corsets for people of any size. (I was fat, remember… not used to owning something as beautiful as a corset.) I bought a lovely black crinoline skirt that day, ordered a white one several months later. When we left, I took their card and tucked it into my pocket. I have it even today.

Romantasy Corsets

The highlight of the day was our visit to Good Vibrations. This (at the time) woman-owned and operated store, still open today (where I buy the majority of my toys), was unique back then. Quality toys, expensive as hell, but worth every cent, lined their walls and shelves. It is where I bought my first Hitachi Magic Wand. I know we easily spent 3 hours there.

Hitachi Magic Wand, Good Vibrations

The Setting Sun

sf sunset

Joyous and I went to dinner on the Wharf as the sun was sliding into the Pacific Ocean, having a couple of bottles of wonderful wine, toasting our new friendship and amazing luck at finding each other.

As we ate, I talked out a plan to emotionally make it through the rest of the week. I was already mentally releasing myself from my servitude; that helped. Joyous offered scenarios and I played them out to see if they were workable. By the time it was dark and dinner was over, I felt sure-footed and ready to face Gerald in the morning.

Joyous took me back to the hotel, walked me up to the room and hugged me tightly before saying her good-bye. We said we would talk tomorrow, hugged again and she was gone.

I never saw her again.

I am of the belief she was an Angel who came to help me that day. We never exchanged real names, phone numbers or emails. I am baffled why we didn’t. Even now, the day with her remains one of my fondest memories in life. It was through her, I was able to stand tall facing Gerald the next day.


My First submissive Scene

Part 1, My First BDSM Experience, I fell in love with a Dom over the Internet. In Part 2, Meeting My First Dom, I flew to meet him in San Francisco, his collaring me right before we began our first Scene.


kneel (14)

Gerald had collared me and I swayed waiting for my instructions. He went and sat in the big desk chair and called me over. I crawled and sat quietly on my knees at his feet. He patted his lap and I lifted up and laid my head on the crotch of his jeans. I inhaled deeply, finally being where I’d dreamt for so long. I wanted inside that material.

I looked up, into his eyes, and asked if I might pleasure him. He nodded slightly; I began unbuttoning, then unzipping, his jeans. He lifted up so I could pull them off, grabbed his boxers while I was at it. Then he stood in front of me. My breath quickened as he took his shirt off. There was my Master, the man I loved so intensely, naked in front of me.

Fuck he was gorgeous. He wasn’t a classic American beauty… slightly paunchy, very brown, not the most well-endowed… but I saw him through the veil of love and desire. I ached to Serve him.

And I did.

Oral Servitude


My hand reached up and held his cock as I lifted higher onto my knees. I know I moaned as my lips enveloped his dick that first time. My mouth… my lesbian mouth… easily remembered the proper movements to pleasure a man. My tongue swirled, my lips pursed, my mouth expanded and contracted, nudging him towards what I ached to consume.

I felt him put his hand gently on my head and I swayed with desire, feeling him pushing into my mouth. “Use me! Use me!” was what was coursing through my mind as I pulled him ever deeper inside me.

Then he softly pushed me back. I was confused and looked up into his eyes. He smiled and said we should get onto the bed. Oh. my. god. We were going to fuck. He’d said he wasn’t sure if we would or not, but now we were. I am sure I floated to the bed.

As Above, So below

I waited for his instructions. He laid down on his back and I honed in on his cock again, picking up where I’d left off. It was incredible Serving my Master this way. I had craved it for so many months. Too soon, he nudged me to move, onto my back.

I breathed so heavily. Hungry.

As he took his cock in his hand and the head tickled my labia, I held my breath.

He stopped moving.

Then lifted off of me and laid beside me.

And started crying.

Almost inaudibly spilling words about his close call with infidelity, saying, “How could I even consider cheating on my wife? What was I thinking?”

I laid there, naked, exposed… and quickly filling with shame.


I grabbed the sheet and covered myself as he got off the bed, dressed and left, apologizing about a hundred times. I said nothing.

When he’d walked out the door, I buried my sobbing face into the pillow.

I didn’t stop crying for several hours.


Next: Unraveling the Ropes