Fat Girl Whining

I’m fat. Really fat. Over 300 pounds fat.

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I also have Diabetes and have to see an Endocrinologist every few months. Endocrinologists take care of fat people. A lot of fat people. There has not been a time when I’ve sat in an Endo’s office that there were no less than 4 really fat people. I just left the Endo’s office (and I love the people there) and need to vent for a second.

Chairs

How can an office that caters to fat people not have chairs without arms on them? How?! The first time in there, I asked for a chair without arms and they brought out one of the bench chairs (that still had arms on it). Fine. They brought it in the exam room with me, too. Nice.

Today, the bench was there… with someone already in it. So I had to cram my fat butt into one of the tiny chairs… with the arms going INWARD instead of out! What the crap?

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I spoke with the office manager who said she’d already put a work order in for more benches and asked me to answer to survey I’ll get in my email with a comment about the chairs.

We’ll see how long that takes.

Blood Pressure Cuffs

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For fuck’s sake, I thought I had finished complaining about medical people taking my blood pressure incorrectly/painfully 2 decades ago.

  • Dealing with a stupid ER nurse using medical tape to try and keep the wrong size cuff on my arm, the tape splitting and the nurse huffing off to get his supervisor
  • Having too small cuffs bruising me dozens of times
  • Having large cuffs bruising me because I have really big upper arms with batwings

I thought I’d come up with a solution by insisting they use the cuff on my forearm. Techs and nurses balked at first, but for the last 5 years, it has been a matter-of-course to take my BP that way.

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Then today, the nurse came at me with a thigh cuff, easily twice as large as the large-sized cuff. I asked her to please take it on my lower arm and she said they had just had training saying it was required to take it on the upper arm because doing it on the forearm is “quite inaccurate.” I grudgingly said she could try, but if it hurt, I would cry.

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The cuff goes on and begins tightening. And tightening. And tightening even more. I said, “It hurts, take it off,” and it stopped pumping up so I said I’d sit still. Then it began tightening again and I nearly hollered, “GET IT OFF.” She did, charting, “Patient refuses BP.” I corrected her: I am more than glad to have my BP done, but on my forearm. She shrugged and left the room.

After my appointment with the Endo (which went really well), I asked how we were going to resolve this BP issue and she said it was “policy” and she would ask what to do. I said, “Patient requests forearm blood pressure,” please put that in my chart. She did.

Fat Anger

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We (our country) is fat… and getting fatter. What is wrong with healthcare providers that they do not make concessions for us? I’ve been writing about this since 1987!!! This is ridiculous.

Not accommodating fat people is yet another way to discriminate and intimidate fat folks. Healthcare providers not doing so prevents far too many people from obtaining care at all, care that can keep them healthier… and for you fat haters, even help fat folks lose some weight (if they want to or are able to).

Over the years, in the courts, this accommodating for “morbidly obese” people has been argued. The general consensus is now that fat falls under the American With Disabilities Act. One more thing on our side.

Please Speak Up!

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Many fat people in our society sit in these tiny chairs, put up with exam tables that do not go up and down and never ask for accomodations for their size. I speak up whenever I can, but I cannot do it alone.

Thinner/Smaller friends and family, please “see” things how we do. If you see people squished into chairs, quietly talk to the office manager, explaining how difficult the chairs are for fat people. Say you have a family member or friend (which I am!) or partner that won’t say anything, but that they get bruises every visit. If you work in an office, restaurant or anywhere people need to sit, please advocate for us to get the proper seating for fat folks.

Special mention to servers: PLEASE STOP SEATING FAT PEOPLE IN BOOTHS (unless they ask to be put in one specifically). It is humiliating to try and squish ourselves into the tight tight space at a booth.

And if anyone thinks the small chairs and small spaces are going to force us to lose weight, you are woefully incorrect. Fat-Haters, rue the day this issue is yours or someone’s you love.

Thanks for listening. Rant over.

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painter: Igor-Grabar

Fat Girl Stories: My Clitoris

So this is a basic explanation of one very fat female’s clitoris (which I suspect will be a series regarding the sexual and reproductive parts of a fat woman). It goes without saying, your body is different than mine. Your experiences might be the polar opposite of mine. However, I do hope this opens discussion between you, friends, lovers, sex partners, and if they are old enough, even your kids. There is never enough information shared!

If you want more information than I have here, Google “Female Reproductive System” and “Female Sexual Responses” and you will get a good start with the details. Planned Parenthood, of course, also has amazing overview.

The Clitoris

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For real, it wasn’t until 1998 that all of the clitoris was “discovered” (by researchers; I knew it was there!). See the light pink on the picture above? Those are called “the legs” of the clit. And fuck, do they feel good to stimulate. I like my right leg, near the apex where the red and pink meet, stimulated, either with a tongue or fingers. I do not like the clit head actually swiped or licked… it is far too sensitive and feels painful.

My (Precious) Vibe

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Do you hear the angels singing as I show you my vibrator?

The Hitachi Magic Wand is my masturbation addiction. I keep two handy just in case one flickers out. I’ve used the HMW for about 15 years. I recently used a cordless one and it was even more powerful than the corded one. It is next on my list of toys to buy.

The vibe can lower sensitivity if over-used, but all I have to do is not masturbate for 3-4 days and the lusciousness comes right back.

And as I said above, the right side is where I put my vibe.

There have only been a few times in my life that I have been able to orgasm without machinery, not including learning with the powerful faucet/shower massage as a teen. I can orgasm while being fucked, but not with G-Spot stimulation.

Accessibility

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As I said, I am pretty darned fat… right about 330 pounds. Even if I could orgasm with my hand, it is challenging to reach my clit because of my belly. The Hitachi is the perfect extension/reach. I recently wrote a new vibrator company telling them their vibrators were too short for fat men and women to use. They sent me back a nice note saying they hadn’t even thought of that, thanking me for bringing it to their attention.

When I’ve lost weight, my clit became more prominent and even more sensitive if you can imagine. I remember being 150 pounds and wearing blue jeans and feeling my clit rubbing up against the zipper seam. Good goddess, that was a delight. I always wondered if the thinner girls enjoyed continuous stimulation that way.

But, most of my life, sexual and otherwise, I have been super-fat and the fat can pad the area. I’ve always had lovers who found their way around my adipose tissue, knowing how to lift and pull to get where they wanted to go, all while reminding me how deliciously sexy I was. It takes some creative positions sometimes, hips high on pillows or a wedge like the Liberator (below), but who cares? Whatever allows for easier access to the clitoris, right?

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The Liberator!

Tell Me About YOUR Clitoris!

I would love to hear from others… fat, thin, differently-abled, transgender… any wondrous variation of bodies… tell us all about your body’s clitoris. I look forward to this being more a dialog than a one-sided post. There are too many of us that do not match my experiences. Please share yours!

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Fat Girl Stories: Sex Parties

 (My) Kids, this means YOU!

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I love sex. A lot. I have gone to Sex Parties and Play Parties (where there is not always sex) since Gerald introduced me to the BDSM Scene in 1995. Zack and I went to some, including a couple of Dungeons when we ended up on the news because people were sneaking video. We were poly as well, having another lover for a couple of years once. Now that I am single again, there is a renewed sense of delight in my sexuality.

(An aside: I identify as a femme Dyke even when I suck cock or eat cum… or even get fucked by a penis. Don’t even dare ask, “But, aren’t you bisexual?” The answer is a rabid, “NO!” I see dicks as toys to play with… a sort of living dildo, if you will. I know, a head game I play with myself. But I can do that. It’s my mind to fuck with.)

Fat Shame

And then there is that fat shame I have carried (a fucking heavy load of it) my entire life. I wax and wane with self-confidence, no rhyme or reason ever seeming clear why things ebb and flow.

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Sex in public has been, alternately, emotionally fantastic or excruciating… rarely middle of the road.

I’ve been to a few Sex Parties since returning home to Orlando 2+ years ago. The first couple of them, I struggled with participating, being much more of a voyeur than exhibitionist. I’d find myself sitting (naked) on the couch, yacking with the men and women who were taking a breather. I’d wished I had a blanket with which to cover myself.

It’s important to know that the majority of the 40-50 people at parties are “overweight.” The average age is around 50 (if I had to guess), so bodies look lived in and well-used. I’ve always been the fattest there, but no one did (or said) anything specifically to make me feel bad. I just did.

The party I went to recently was the polar opposite of that nervous voyeur on the couch.

Turning the Corner (again)

So, I’m in love with this wonderful man (my fawn)… younger than my youngest child (who is 30)… and on the Internet, to boot. But I am alive with passion and sexual desire and as the Play Party date came up, I jumped at the opportunity to play. And suck. And fuck. And lick.

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For whatever reason, that night, I just felt completely slutty… and flew with it. I made out with a woman at dinner, promising to eat her pussy as soon as things got under way.

When it was time to “dress down” (get into sexy lingerie or nude), I took my top off, but had my black silk pants on as I wandered around. The woman from dinner grabbed my hand and we were off to find a space, landing on the 4-poster bed, she on the bed, me on the floor leaning over.

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Fuck, I feasted. It had been so so so long since I’d had my face in a cunt.

Moving On

After several minutes, a man whose wife, also on the bed, though blindfolded, tapped my shoulder and said his wife had never been kissed by a woman… would I be interested in remedying that? I asked, “Which lips?” He laughed and said, “Either one!”

I went up and kissed my dinner-friend and moved over to the other side of the bed.

The woman was being fucked and her husband nudged the guy aside and said thanks, but he had someone for her now. It’s completely normal to shift folks around like that, body parts being shared for minutes and then moving on to the next body part.

(And yes, I know… that does sound like I am reducing a person to their outer sexual organs… even objectifying or fetishizing them… but we are at a Sex Party and genital sex is [almost] the entire purpose. It’s an unwritten consent to be seen for one’s dick or cunt.)

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Artist: Claire Chapman

Fat Accommodations

The blindfolded woman had her head at the top of the bed. I walked around and leaned over, licking her lips with my tongue, pushing it through, finding her tongue and kissing her deeply. It was delicious that she had no idea who was kissing her. After a few moments, I was eager to take care of that lesbian virginity.

Because she was up near the top of the bed, her cunt was in the middle. I stood there, strategizing how to get onto this extremely tall bed. I hiked one leg up and didn’t get anywhere near the top of the mattress. I tried leaning on it and pulling my leg up again. Nope. Now I was kind of embarrassed because I couldn’t get my (fat) ass (yes, that was exactly what was in my head) up to eat this chick’s pussy.

Her husband saw my distress and inability to climb up and, as kind and non-judgmental as possible, said, “Here, let me help,” and grabbed his wife by the ankles and yanked her down to the bottom of the bed. I laughed, thanked him while hugging him, and then leaned over, reaching her cunt easily. I felt so good that no one made fun of me for not being able to get on the bed. She got some good lovin’ on that pussy of hers.

She came in my mouth.

I was happy.

There’s more to this specific Sex Party and I’ll start working on the next piece now.

Hint: Fat Girl Stories: Riding the Sybian

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